The forecast had said it would rain, and as I pulled back the curtains and watched the water dripping from the eves and spattering the pavements, they had for once got it right. I sat back on the bed. Lilly the Collie was sheepishly trying to ingratiate herself with me by putting her chin on my knee and using her big brown collie eyes trying to extract every last ounce of forgiveness from me. The reason for this display of abject affection was the wet patch clearly visible on her bedding. This the same bedding that I had washed yesterday. She had spent the night on my daughter’s bed, and no doubt had sneaked down to my room with the intention of waking me up. But she had heard the wind and the rain rattling the windows and decided that it was too unpleasant to go outside.


Forcing her gently but firmly downstairs, I managed to get her all be it very reluctantly to the front door. I opened it and peered out into the gloom.


“Come on out we go” I said in the slightly high-pitched childish tone reserved for her. She looked at me as if I was mad and tried to make a break for the stairs. But I had anticipated this, and had closed the living room door. She could not escape. She tried to lie on the floor and show her belly but I gently held her by the collar and together we stepped out into the rain. Now she was clearly pretty desperate to go. But nevertheless the selection of the right spot was still of paramount importance. She sniffed and rejected a number of spots before settling down and relieving herself of an enormous wee.


Now one of her less endearing traits is to start moving before she has finished. This means that she gets a stream of wee down her back legs and tail. It also means that she can get through the front door before me, and while I am still locking up she has made it up the stairs and onto my bed. So that when I finally get back to my room, she is curled up on my side of the bed, with a slightly disdainful look on her face, as if I have disturbed her beauty sleep.


There is only one response to this.


“Shower now” I bark at her.


She slinks off the bed and reluctantly goes and sits by the bath waiting for me to lift her in.

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