The Birdwatcher Middle aged, dreams of being a writer and during particularly bad moments a poet. So far the world has been largely spared from his rambling incoherent writing. Lives in the Peak District with Lilly the Collie. Favourite Film is the Layer Cake. Likes Reverend the Makers and getting up very early to listen to the birds.

The Weasel “Fav daughter” her words. Is now living in Leeds. She developed a clever technique of virtual studying. I think this involved not going anywhere near the University unless it was the bar, for three terms and then changing your course for the following year. During her misspent youth, she did go to Australia, did some charity work in Ethiopia and brought tears to my eyes when I went to watch her in a play. She will go far and one day might be famous. If she is she has promised me a field.

The Munch Number one son. Has fled the nest and went to  Edinburgh. So now says aye every other word. This could get irritating. Despite being a great chef he decided to join Barclay’s Bank. Somehow sitting around counting money did not appeal to him so for a bit of light relief he has decided to join the Army.

Lilly the Collie She has her own blog at http://www.iaminthedoghouse.wordpress.com Highly intelligent, adept at getting her own way. Without her, insanity would surely follow.

The Gabster Mad Romanian hates dogs and most men. Clearly has mafia connections. Carefully vets anyone who comes to the house. Her chief role is team food taster.