Just got back from 24 hours in London. I was surprised at how quiet and civilised our great Capital City was and clean! And people were even chatting on the tube. What is going on? Even more confusing to a hardened old cynic, the train was bang on time on the way down and on the way back, though Virgin Trains toilets leave quite a lot to be desired. Even the SAS on one of their little training jolly’s in the Brecon Beacons would have baulked at using them. While I’m about it I really hate the announcements that they make over the PA system. Not satisfied with listing out all the ways of failing to meet the high and exacting ticketing standards that Virgin require from their customers and the various penalties that you will incur for failing to hold your ticket in the right way when requested to do so by the ticket collector (they have a fancy name but I can’t remember it) the announcer then proceeded to tell everyone what the complimentary food was in first class. This was fine for those who were travelling in first class but for the rest of us it was really rather rubbing it in. Especially as all we had to look forward to was a trip to the “shop” where if we were desperate we could purchase one of their sandwiches, which looked like they had been made by a bunch of ham fisted half wits on work experience. I made the mistake of opting for the cheese burger. I eventually found the cheese clinging soggily to the underneath of the plastic carton that the meal came in. It looked like someone had chewed it and spat it out and then tried to hide it. ( Yes I did eat it and no I didn’t complain, I’m bloody English for god’s sake) Nor do I want my listening to the Fry Chronicles interrupted by the pillock with the PA telling us that there had been a serious accident in the toilet located in coach A. I mean we didn’t need telling, anyone with a sense of smell could work it out for themselves. Apparently someone had kicked the door in and the patronising little jobs worth on the PA wanted anyone with information to come along to his office, situated next to the “shop” and spill the beans. I thought he was going to add “and no one is to go to the toilet until the perpetrator has owned up.” Apparently they had it covered with CCTV. Shame they couldn’t have an on board plumber, then maybe no one would want to kick the door down.
Anyway I am now in recovery mode. It may take some time.