I am humiliated to say that with all the other things that have been going on in my crowded and hectic life, I have somewhat deserted Plot 45, the allotment that I so rashly but hopefully took over in April this year.
In fact, it is slightly worse than deserted. For about three weeks I completely forgot about it. But all is not lost, I have remembered now, and I have a plan. Not a particularly cunning one, but a plan nevertheless.
I popped down on Sunday to take some food waste for the compost and to check that it was still there. One of my neighbours came over and figuratively leaned on the fence. He had to do this figuratively as any other sort of leaning would have been exceedingly painful because of the sharp spikes that adorn the top of the fence.
After some polite chat about how he actually hated gardening. And only had an allotment to get away from it, though he never shared what it actually was, he gazed across and the shabby, scrubby, weedy and chaotic space that is Plot 45 and said ‘You were brave taking this plot on. It has been empty for years. It’s going take some work to get it ship shape.’
He is right of course.
Which is where my friend Robo and his plastic sheeting comes in. Though even he has had second thoughts after I showed him the photos, muttering darkly about flamethrowers and agent orange.
I plan to create a little haven for wildlife. But hang on I can hear some of you say, you have that already, surely.
But I think nature needs a helping hand. So I plan to create a wildflower meadow, and grow a few vegetables, just so I can keep to the terms of my contract with the council, lots of seeds and fruits for the birds and a pond, adequately constructed with marshy margins.
All this topped off with a shed at the end and somewhere for me to sit and watch the comings and goings would make for my perfect allotment.
I was thinking about rescue chickens at some point, but they do not appreciate being forgotten about for three weeks at a stretch so, for the time being, I will stick to vegetables.
We shall see. Now, where can I get a flamethrower from?